In Memoriam, Part 2
Mar. 1st, 2019 08:09 pmLast Thanksgiving Day, the Spouse and I delivered Thanksgiving dinner to RA-no-LJ (or, I guess, RA-no-DW now), since his spouse, ![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
stardreamer, was immobile and only intermittently responsive. We dropped off the usual turkey, pie, potatoes, cranberry relish, bread, and green beans, stood around and said hi to her, made small talk with RA, and then left at around 9:30 PM. She died at around 11:30 PM. Fuck cancer.
For a variety of reasons, including but not limited to both her and RA's lack of affiliation with any religious or faith group (Stardreamer had attended First UU Church for its CUUPs group briefly, a long time ago, around the time of my first experiment there - that's technically how we met - but none of the ministers who were there then are still around, and RA is about as atheist as you can get), no memorial service was held at the time. A small one was held at a recent SF/fantasy con in Dallas, as Stardreamer and RA were both mainstays of the Texas convention scene for the last 20 years. But the closest thing she's going to get to a proper one is tomorrow. Every spring for the last couple of decades, she had held a Chocolate Decadence party, in which she prepared some sort of chocolate dessert and asked everyone else to bring one, or a fruit-based one if they couldn't have chocolate. A friend of hers and RA's has offered her house to host the last one, at which we shall toast her with desserts of all sorts and offer fond remembrances - a sort of theobrominized wake, if you like.
I have no idea what I'm making. I may cheap out and make a blueberry-chocolate-chip crumbcake with some of the frozen blueberries, if only so I know there will be something there that isn't 80% cacao dark. I'm kind of unhappy that this is it for her as far as memorials, but I can't argue that it isn't fitting, and in her case, if she had wanted something bigger she would have made her wishes explicitly known, so - it will do.
I'm not so old that funerals are a common occurrence for me yet, but losing two old friends (I've known Stardreamer since the very early Oughts and Silverdragonknight since the late '90s) so close together was rough indeed. Along with some other endings, it was a tough holiday season from Samhain through Yule.
stardreamer, was immobile and only intermittently responsive. We dropped off the usual turkey, pie, potatoes, cranberry relish, bread, and green beans, stood around and said hi to her, made small talk with RA, and then left at around 9:30 PM. She died at around 11:30 PM. Fuck cancer.For a variety of reasons, including but not limited to both her and RA's lack of affiliation with any religious or faith group (Stardreamer had attended First UU Church for its CUUPs group briefly, a long time ago, around the time of my first experiment there - that's technically how we met - but none of the ministers who were there then are still around, and RA is about as atheist as you can get), no memorial service was held at the time. A small one was held at a recent SF/fantasy con in Dallas, as Stardreamer and RA were both mainstays of the Texas convention scene for the last 20 years. But the closest thing she's going to get to a proper one is tomorrow. Every spring for the last couple of decades, she had held a Chocolate Decadence party, in which she prepared some sort of chocolate dessert and asked everyone else to bring one, or a fruit-based one if they couldn't have chocolate. A friend of hers and RA's has offered her house to host the last one, at which we shall toast her with desserts of all sorts and offer fond remembrances - a sort of theobrominized wake, if you like.
I have no idea what I'm making. I may cheap out and make a blueberry-chocolate-chip crumbcake with some of the frozen blueberries, if only so I know there will be something there that isn't 80% cacao dark. I'm kind of unhappy that this is it for her as far as memorials, but I can't argue that it isn't fitting, and in her case, if she had wanted something bigger she would have made her wishes explicitly known, so - it will do.
I'm not so old that funerals are a common occurrence for me yet, but losing two old friends (I've known Stardreamer since the very early Oughts and Silverdragonknight since the late '90s) so close together was rough indeed. Along with some other endings, it was a tough holiday season from Samhain through Yule.
