Link Soup

[omorka]

Today's serious link:

"Men Explain Things To Me" by Rebecca Solnit. Needs no real exposition - just read it. An excellent examination of male privilege in action. (Having said that, I rather suspect the Explaining Men in the article also do this to other men that they perceive as younger, socially inferior, etc.)

Today's humorous link:

PHD Comics: Sense of Humor The problem with this is that I *started* more than halfway up the graph. I blame my father.

Comments

[awbryan.livejournal.com]

So what happens to natural teachers, who are always explaining things to everyone, men, women, children, elderly, computers, and little green aliens? Are we congentially condescending for having Explanation in our soul? Even if, unlike the jerk in the story, we're perfectly willing (and deliriously happy!) to discover women who know as much (or more!) than we do?

"And no man has ever apologized for explaining, wrongly, things that I know and they don't."
Then she hasn't met me. But I understand; there are not many men that are that honest. I would point out that men are horribly afraid of being one-up'd by rival men if they show any such weakness in front of a woman.

My point is that while I should definitely apologize for being a jerk myself, I don't see how I can ever make up for millions of other men being so. I know people prejudge, but I don't have to like it. These sorts of arguments always seem to say to me that the answer to sexism is reverse sexism, which makes exactly as much sense as reverse racism or reverse homophobia. It's in the same family of annoyances that I feel towards Dianic Wicca. Balance means balance, dang nabbit.

I can't fix what men have done in the past. All I can say is that, if someone tries this patronizing routine on my daughter, I'll slug 'em.

[quantumduck.livejournal.com]

Mostly that's was brilliantly articulated. Many of us have learned to blather on for hours as if we know what the hell we're talking about, but are happy to shut up and learn when others offer to drive the conversation.

Actually, I was with you until your final sentence. I'm pretty sure that the cause of feminism will not be furthered by threats from angry fathers trying to protect their precious little daughters from the big bad world. That's old skool he-man woman-haters thinking there, son. ;-)

Fair enough--

[awbryan.livejournal.com]

OK, I'll run him down and hold him, and she can slug him.

Thanks for the compliment. :)

[omorka.livejournal.com]

If the shoe doesn't fit, my friend, please don't try to force it on - you know what happened to Cinderella's stepsisters in the non-Disneyfied version of the tale. If it wouldn't have taken three interruptions to let you know that your interlocutor was the expert you were citing - indeed, if your interlocutor wouldn't have had to interrupt you, if you would have let her speak her part - then you are not the guy the article is talking about.

[starcat-jewel.livejournal.com]

Actually, there's one fairly simple thing you can do to help fix what men have done in the past. When you see it happening in front of you, call it.

Example (this is fairly common): You're in a meeting at work, and Mary comes up with a good idea. It gets lost in the shuffle. Five minutes later, Tom comes up with the exact same idea, and everyone starts talking about what a great idea it is. You can say, "Hey, that's what Mary said 5 minutes ago!" Mary can say it too, of course -- but if she's not being heard about the idea, she's not going to be heard about the credit either.

Doing this takes two things: awareness (so that you notice when it's happening) and guts (because a lot of men will see you as Breaking the Guy Code if you do this). Your call.

[quantumduck.livejournal.com]

Nobody told me about the guy code!