The Long Version of the Lazarus Long Meme

[omorka]

Ganked from starcat_jewel. The idea is that, instead of just bolding the ones you've done, you explain whether or not you agree that "every human should" be able to do these, and defend your position.



Change a diaper - Yes, absolutely. Even for those of us for whom passing down our memes is more important than passing down our genes, if in an emergency you are in charge of a small child, you must be able to do the necessary things to keep it alive and well until you can hand it off to a better caretaker.

Plan an invasion - Nope. Invasions are not a necessary condition of humanity. (That MLL seems to believe this one is one of the reasons we got screwed so badly at the end of the first AD$D game in the Tuesday sessions.) Ideally one should be able to, as starcat_jewel mentions, defend one's home territory against invasion, but even that's something I wouldn't claim as necessary for everyone. For some of us, "ownership" isn't that important overall as long as we're allowed to be.

Butcher a hog - Not necessarily a hog, but "butcher one's own meat," yes. I am firmly of the opinion that anyone who eats meat should have to have the experience of knowing what is necessary to turn a live critter into the meal on your plate, start to finish, at least once. (And I suspect we would have a lot more people eating much lower on the food chain if we made this a requirement! If anyone's wondering, yes, I've participated in the butchering of chickens and, less directly, a steer.)

Conn a ship - Nope. As I've pointed out in other places, I consider driving/piloting a vehicle a semi-professional skill. I think we'd be much better off if fewer people knew how to do it, not more.

Design a building - Depends on how closely we mean "design." I don't think everyone needs to be an architect, but some basic knowledge of how things go together, post-and-lintel construction, etc. is a good thing, as is the ability to put together a basic shelter.

Write a sonnet - Um, does it have to be a good one? :) "Write a structured poem," perhaps, but I wouldn't hold too tightly to the sonnet form - it's not native to English, after all! But I agree that the balance of creative and analytical skills required to juggle rhythm, rhyme, and meaning is something every whole person should be able to do; I just wouldn't hold the result to terribly strict standards.

Balance accounts - Yup. Basic life skill, there.

Build a wall - Out of what, for what purpose? If we're talking about bricks and mortar, then no, I don't think everyone needs to know how to do that. (In fact, they're finally building a machine that can bricklay.) If we're talking about sandbags or the like to keep water in or danger out, then sure.

Set a bone - Too easy to do poorly, but I'll take "apply a splint" or "stop the bleeding on a wound."

Comfort the dying - To the extent the task is possible, then yes, everyone should be able to do it. I question whether it's possible for some. I know of no way to comfort a dying Christian who believes they are going to Hell.

Take orders - From whom, under what circumstances? I think I want to change this to "follow directions."

Give orders - Again, to whom, and why? Change it to "give directions."

Cooperate - Sure.

Act alone - Again, sure. I think this is more important than cooperating, of course, but they're both critical.

Solve equations - Yes, but we probably ought to say what kind of equations. Everyone should be able to do basic algebra. I don't expect everyone to be able to solve differential equations. I'd put the requirement somewhere around solving a factorable quadratic.

Analyze a new problem - Gods, yes. That our educational system consistently fails to teach kids how to do this by the time they get to me scares me deeply.

Pitch manure - Well, this isn't hard, to be honest. And I don't see why your average city slicker should be expected to know how to do this, given that they're likely never to have the experience. (Yeah, farm girl here has done this one.) If the implication really is "be willing to pitch manure if the situation demands it," then yes, but otherwise it's just not that useful a skill.

Cook a tasty meal - While I'd like to say yes to this one, I think I can only require "cook a meal." If I'm willing to make driving a specialist's skill, then cooking well probably is as well.

Fight efficiently - What the Hel does efficiency have to do with it? If we're talking about being able to defend one's self or one's beloveds, sure, but otherwise, no.

Die gallantly - This is a "it'd be nice," not an essential. I will not think a person less than human if they go to their death screaming in fear all the way, just think less of their courage.


What else would I add to the list?

Reason validly - In particular, the analysis skills are not good to anyone if they're backed up with faulty logic.

Explain your reasoning, preferably in writing - Extending the above to make it useful for other people, too.

Know what you're feeling and be able to name it - The number of people who only recognize two emotional states in themselves, "okay" and "not okay," bothers me. It's the emotional equivalent of not being able to reason.

Do your own laundry - Self-explanatory, I hope.

Teach at least one of your skills to someone else - Otherwise they might well die with you.

Comments

[starcat-jewel.livejournal.com]

I've seen several people quibble about the "tasty" bit, and I wonder if it might not be better worded to "cook a meal that other people will eat willingly." Cf. Eowyn's attempt at soup in the extended Two Towers DVD. :) "Tasty" seems to be making everyone else think he's talking about fancy cooking, whereas I'm interpreting it as "edible, pleasant".

[memeslayer.livejournal.com]

When I reacquire full internet access you're really going to have to explain this idea that it should be harder for people to travel around. It seems to go against your general political philosophies.