More Rain

I went outside a few minutes ago so see if I could see the Moon. I couldn't, but it started raining - a cool, gentle rain - just as I stepped outside.

Most calming thing I've experienced all week.

The ADHD Kid is having a bad week. I don't know what I can do about that, other than remind him I'm here for him and listen to him (or, in this case, read what he writes me). He went off his meds - at least he admits that, and agrees that it was a mistake - and seems to be back in suicidal ideation mode again. And he doesn't have many adults he trusts enough to let them know - me, his grandfather, and maybe his therapist and his grandmother on his good days.

I haven't started reading Counseling the Gifted yet. I'd better start, I guess. I probably ought to pick up whatever UH's standard Intro to School Counseling textbook is, as well. (Wow, watch me go into Hermione mode - when in doubt, read a book and find another on the same topic to default to if this one doesn't help.)

This on top of everything else. Then again, I consciously volunteered for this when I gave him my e-mail address. I knew perfectly well what I was getting myself into, and did it anyway, because I didn't trust anyone else to do it. I can't really say that about the other issues . . .

DG offered to drive me down to UH to run around doing the grad school stuff if I need a lift. I suspect I will take him up on it Monday or Tuesday, if he can snag the car either of those days. If he's in a space where he can take dumping, I might unload some of the current saga on him. I'm also aware he may need me to play bartender to him, as well - he sounded like he had some issues, or at least sad stories, about the end of his Oberlin days. Given that I've played Mother Confessor to both of the DH's at the last two Acronym gatherings, I'm getting re-used to the role - I played it constantly through high school and most of college; I wonder why it stopped for a few years, and has returned so strongly in just the past year and a half?

The Spouse knows I'm miserable, and he knows why. He refuses to talk about it, though. That is, he refuses to broach the subject, and he's asked me not to, so I can't bring it up with him. He knows well enough that I need to talk about things - but he feels like he's catered enough to my need, I guess. And if I open the subject on my own, he'll feel betrayed again, or at least wounded. I really don't know what to do now. Once DM lands back in town and makes contact again, I'll at least be able to discuss things with him - but that's not the wing that's injured, just the untested one.

I know this bird can fly. She sings too loudly and too well not to.

Will they let it?

Will I?

More Rain

I went outside a few minutes ago so see if I could see the Moon. I couldn't, but it started raining - a cool, gentle rain - just as I stepped outside.

Most calming thing I've experienced all week.

The ADHD Kid is having a bad week. I don't know what I can do about that, other than remind him I'm here for him and listen to him (or, in this case, read what he writes me). He went off his meds - at least he admits that, and agrees that it was a mistake - and seems to be back in suicidal ideation mode again. And he doesn't have many adults he trusts enough to let them know - me, his grandfather, and maybe his therapist and his grandmother on his good days.

I haven't started reading Counseling the Gifted yet. I'd better start, I guess. I probably ought to pick up whatever UH's standard Intro to School Counseling textbook is, as well. (Wow, watch me go into Hermione mode - when in doubt, read a book and find another on the same topic to default to if this one doesn't help.)

This on top of everything else. Then again, I consciously volunteered for this when I gave him my e-mail address. I knew perfectly well what I was getting myself into, and did it anyway, because I didn't trust anyone else to do it. I can't really say that about the other issues . . .

DG offered to drive me down to UH to run around doing the grad school stuff if I need a lift. I suspect I will take him up on it Monday or Tuesday, if he can snag the car either of those days. If he's in a space where he can take dumping, I might unload some of the current saga on him. I'm also aware he may need me to play bartender to him, as well - he sounded like he had some issues, or at least sad stories, about the end of his Oberlin days. Given that I've played Mother Confessor to both of the DH's at the last two Acronym gatherings, I'm getting re-used to the role - I played it constantly through high school and most of college; I wonder why it stopped for a few years, and has returned so strongly in just the past year and a half?

The Spouse knows I'm miserable, and he knows why. He refuses to talk about it, though. That is, he refuses to broach the subject, and he's asked me not to, so I can't bring it up with him. He knows well enough that I need to talk about things - but he feels like he's catered enough to my need, I guess. And if I open the subject on my own, he'll feel betrayed again, or at least wounded. I really don't know what to do now. Once DM lands back in town and makes contact again, I'll at least be able to discuss things with him - but that's not the wing that's injured, just the untested one.

I know this bird can fly. She sings too loudly and too well not to.

Will they let it?

Will I?