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So apparently Sarah Palin called on her Twitter-followers to pray for divine intervention in the current BPocalypse.


Really, Ms. Drill-Baby-Drill? Well, okay, if you're sure . . .

Io, Poseidon Earth-Shaker, Mover of Waves, Bringer of Storms! We beseech you, we, who have desecrated your sacred seas, who have cast the tarry rot of the deep upon your sand shores, to turn the sea winds and currents to limit the damage of our hubris. Take the unasked-for sacrifice of the creatures of your depths, take their choked breath and stagnant blood, and rescue those we have not yet befouled, O Lord of the Seas.

Io, Hades Dispater, Keeper of the Wealth Below! We beg your pardon for plundering the depths of the earth that belong to you, for seizing the remains of the Ancient Dead without due sacrifice to you, for scarring the deep earth with drill and concrete. Seal up your treasures again, draw them back to yourself; keep the bodies of the first green things, now black with age and pressure, below mud and rock despite our clumsiness, O Lord of the Underground.

Ia, Persephone, Queen of the Dead! We ask you, who walks between the world of the living and the underworld, to seal the unholy passage we have made between the two realms. With your mother, Demeter; your grandmother, Rhea; and your great-grandmother, Gaia herself, undo what our fumbling hands have done; let mud and silt, rock and stone, once again bury the ancient algae we sought to bring once again to light. Let the carbon of the first green plants once again lie below. Keep the wild spirits of the sea safe; let them swim in the Lethe and forget our foolishness, O Lady of the Gates.

So mote it be!


. . . Wait, what do you mean that wasn't what she meant?

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