Today's Fortune Cookie:

[omorka]

Your sports team will be very successful this year.

1) Wow, it's not just advice this time; it's an actual fortune.

2) About something I could not possibly care less about.

I hear good things about both Rangerdon's and Rice's football teams this year . . . those are the only two things that could possibly count.

(Also: whoa, not writing songfic for this, no matter how tempting it is.)