Train Kept A-Rollin'
Jun. 17th, 2003 11:42 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
omorkaDM landed back in town - a day early. He called and asked whether I wanted to do anything, and I tentatively suggested doing something tomorrow afternoon. (No idea what yet, but I'm sure we can think of something, even if it's just tea at Cafe Poseur.)
Dammit, he screwed up my anxiety buildup! ;) Still, the Spouse is the one who answered the phone, and he seemed to take it in good humor, if not quite in stride.
Finally went down to UH with DG. He picked up some stuff from the testing office while we were there, and I got everything I could on the C&I M.Ed. programs, specifically Gifted Ed and Math Ed. I don't know which I want to do; I will probably eventually do them both, and then see which one takes me to the right places for doctoral work. It looks like I'd have to seriously hustle to get everything together for this Fall semester, so I'm going to take my time with it and apply for Spring instead. It also looks like if I take 3 hours of classes for each of the Spring and Fall semesters and 9 hours spread out over the Summer semesters, I can finish all the coursework for either in two years. In addition, it looks like GT doesn't require a thesis, although I could be totally wrong about that. Math Ed. doesn't say one way or the other, which I assume means it does require a thesis. So nu; I'm fine either way.
I really don't want to take the GRE; I hate the computer-based testing thing. Screw up once, and you're jacked for the rest of the test. Hel, Brother #1 screwed it up royally the first time he took it, and he has the same mutant power I do about testing well, only moreso. On the other hand, it looks like the MAT (which is the other option, and won't be good for doctoral work if I get a wild hair and decide to start immediately after the masters') is also administered by computer. Ah, well.
I desperately need to get a bus pass. Perhaps I'll do that tomorrow; if I'm going to be around the area of Cafe Poseur, I'll also be near the grocery store I used to buy tokens from.
I mentioned to DG that I feel incredibly guilty about getting a second degree when the Spouse hasn't finished his first one yet. DG didn't understand that, although he also pointed out he can't imagine why someone wouldn't want to continue taking classes if that were an option for them. He is, of course, preaching to the choir; I'm a far better student than I am a teacher, and by this point I've convinced myself that I'm a decent teacher. Not everyone is cut out to be a student, though. For all that I think otherwise, the Spouse may fall into that category. And whether he does or not, I really can't wait for him any longer (in this as in so many other things).
I have to do what I need to do, not just for myself, but for the kids and for my profession as a whole. I have responsibilities to people other than him, and just as I won't compromise my responsibilities to him in their favor, so I can't compromise my responsibilities to them in his favor. I know he understands that, even though he acts like he doesn't a great deal of the time. I think I can make this less stressful on him; if nothing else, picking me up from UH at 9:00 should be easier than picking me up from the school at 5:00, even if it's only once a week.
This shouldn't feel like a betrayal. Why is it feeling like one? In particular, why is it feeling like far more of a betrayal to me than anything I've done with DM, even though the Spouse has reacted far more badly to the latter?
Dammit, he screwed up my anxiety buildup! ;) Still, the Spouse is the one who answered the phone, and he seemed to take it in good humor, if not quite in stride.
Finally went down to UH with DG. He picked up some stuff from the testing office while we were there, and I got everything I could on the C&I M.Ed. programs, specifically Gifted Ed and Math Ed. I don't know which I want to do; I will probably eventually do them both, and then see which one takes me to the right places for doctoral work. It looks like I'd have to seriously hustle to get everything together for this Fall semester, so I'm going to take my time with it and apply for Spring instead. It also looks like if I take 3 hours of classes for each of the Spring and Fall semesters and 9 hours spread out over the Summer semesters, I can finish all the coursework for either in two years. In addition, it looks like GT doesn't require a thesis, although I could be totally wrong about that. Math Ed. doesn't say one way or the other, which I assume means it does require a thesis. So nu; I'm fine either way.
I really don't want to take the GRE; I hate the computer-based testing thing. Screw up once, and you're jacked for the rest of the test. Hel, Brother #1 screwed it up royally the first time he took it, and he has the same mutant power I do about testing well, only moreso. On the other hand, it looks like the MAT (which is the other option, and won't be good for doctoral work if I get a wild hair and decide to start immediately after the masters') is also administered by computer. Ah, well.
I desperately need to get a bus pass. Perhaps I'll do that tomorrow; if I'm going to be around the area of Cafe Poseur, I'll also be near the grocery store I used to buy tokens from.
I mentioned to DG that I feel incredibly guilty about getting a second degree when the Spouse hasn't finished his first one yet. DG didn't understand that, although he also pointed out he can't imagine why someone wouldn't want to continue taking classes if that were an option for them. He is, of course, preaching to the choir; I'm a far better student than I am a teacher, and by this point I've convinced myself that I'm a decent teacher. Not everyone is cut out to be a student, though. For all that I think otherwise, the Spouse may fall into that category. And whether he does or not, I really can't wait for him any longer (in this as in so many other things).
I have to do what I need to do, not just for myself, but for the kids and for my profession as a whole. I have responsibilities to people other than him, and just as I won't compromise my responsibilities to him in their favor, so I can't compromise my responsibilities to them in his favor. I know he understands that, even though he acts like he doesn't a great deal of the time. I think I can make this less stressful on him; if nothing else, picking me up from UH at 9:00 should be easier than picking me up from the school at 5:00, even if it's only once a week.
This shouldn't feel like a betrayal. Why is it feeling like one? In particular, why is it feeling like far more of a betrayal to me than anything I've done with DM, even though the Spouse has reacted far more badly to the latter?
