Question Meme: Pizza Time

[omorka]

And so brezhnev asked:

What do you like on pizza?

I am one of that unfortunate genus known as the Picky Eaters, so it's actually easier to describe what I don't like on pizza. First, let us discuss the crust. Thick, heavy, bready crusts are gross, IMHO. (Papa John's, I'm looking at you here.) Thin, crackery crusts that make me wonder if I'm eating matzoh aren't much better. My favorite crust was the deep-dish at Pizzeria Uno, but they're long gone from here. I didn't mind the deep-dish whole-wheat crust at Star Pizza, either, but we're still boycotting them for closing up the Fabulous Satellite Lounge. Currently, I'm making do with the sort of foccacia-ish crusts at some of the local pizzerias.

Next, let us consider the sauce. Chopped or sliced fresh tomatoes, a smear of olive oil, and a sprinkling each of fresh basil, fresh or dried oregano, coarse salt and minced garlic are really all you need. If you must have a cooked sauce, it should be (a) salty, (b) garlicky, (c) thick, and (d) herbed to hell and gone. People who put sugar in their pizza sauce are insane. Wet, thin sauces that reduce the crust to mush are really gross. (My parents used to make - for all I know, may still make - homemade "pizza" with a thick, heavy, bready crust and very watery, very bland sauce that rendered the inside little more than steamed dough. The thought still makes me shudder.)

Thirdly comes the matter of cheese. Mozzarella is a must; the fresher, the better. Parmesan is a good additive but should not overwhelm the fresh-milk taste of the mozzarella. Provolone is an iffy thing, but on a vegetarian pizza it can be nice. Feta is only okay on Greek pizza, preferably in the presence of fresh spinach. Other cheeses can go somewhere else. In particular, if no one ever puts Pepper Jack or Gruyere on a pizza ever again, I can die happy.

Finally, we turn to the more substantial toppings. I'm partial to pizza margharita, which has the afore-mentioned sliced fresh tomatoes, olive oil, minced or slivered garlic, and julienned fresh basil - and nothing else. If I'm in a mood for meat, which I often am, I might ask the pizza-slinger to add Canadian bacon, which is a travesty but it tastes great with the tomatoes and basil. Another combination I enjoy is Canadian bacon, mushrooms, and black olives. I'll eat plain cheese pizza, of course, as well as pizza with pepperoni, although I don't particularly enjoy pepperoni. I used to like fresh spinach and feta on pizza, especially Greek pizza, but now that I can't eat spinach (*sob*) that's not so much an option.

Things I don't like on pizza and will not eat if they are present: onions, bell peppers in any color, jalapenos, sausage, little fishies (whether sardines or anchovies), zucchini, and pineapple. Seriously, WTF? Pineapple? Who thought that was a good idea?

Comments

[bassfingers.livejournal.com]

Seriously, WTF? Pineapple? Who thought that was a good idea?

*meekly waves his hand*

[princejvstin.livejournal.com]

...me too.

On the other hand, my taste in crust is as particular as yours. Although I can't really get it here, I prefer "New York Style" style--or, as a friend dubbed it after I explained the concept of folding: "Foldy Pizza"

[kansas-dave.livejournal.com]

Mmmmmm, pineapple! One of my favorite pizzas is a Hawaiian with bacon and extra pineapple. The contrast between the salty, meaty bacon, ham, and cheese, and the crisp refreshing cool tart bursts of flavor of pineapple makes for a delicious pizza.

[brezhnev.livejournal.com]

It looks like you've got some exacting standards for pizza -- please let me know which of the local pizzerias get it right.

So what's the Fabulous Satellite Lounge controversy? Did they take over a local landmark?

[omorka.livejournal.com]

Yuck, yuck, yuck. If I wanted a fruit pie I'd have ordered a fruit pie.